Over the past several months I have been attempting to reengage with emotions that felt overwhelming in the last season of my life. But as soon as I start to feel my lips sliding I panic and I attempt to numb again.
My numbing agents of choice? Social media, books, food, napping, jokes, music, work...I could go on but I think you get the idea.
With apologies to Pink Floyd, I have become uncomfortably numb. Numb is no longer working for me. The numbing is preventing me from feeling the discomfort but it's also preventing me from experiencing the fullness of life and most importantly the fullness of the Presence of God.
This 31 days of Presence is really about giving myself the space to let the Novocaine wear off. I want to push through the awkward and discomfort so that I can experience the fullness of what God has for me. So for the next 31 days when I grab for my phone, or rush to fill in the uncomfortable spaces with a wise crack, or try to lose myself in a book or a nap, I will stop myself and touch my face just to make sure that my lips are where they are supposed to be and get back to the business Life.