Sunday, October 2, 2016

31 Days of Presence Day 2:I Have Become Uncomfortably Numb

To numb is to deprive of feeling or responsiveness. There are very good reasons that things are numbed. Before a dentist works on a cavity, the tooth and surrounding area are numbed with Novocaine so that the dentist can do the needed work to prevent further decay. Eventually the Novocaine wears off and we are left with that uncomfortable tingling and the feeling that your lips are sliding off of your face. 

Over the past several months I have been attempting to reengage with emotions that felt overwhelming in the last season of my life. But as soon as I start to feel my lips sliding I panic and I attempt to numb again. 

My numbing agents of choice? Social media, books, food, napping, jokes, music, work...I could go on but I think you get the idea. 

With apologies to Pink Floyd, I have become uncomfortably numb. Numb is no longer working for me. The numbing is preventing me from feeling the discomfort but it's also preventing me from experiencing the fullness of life and most importantly the fullness of the Presence of God. 

This 31 days of Presence is really about giving myself the space to let the Novocaine wear off. I want to push through the awkward and discomfort so that I can experience the fullness of what God has for me. So for the next 31 days when I grab for my phone, or rush to fill in the uncomfortable spaces with a wise crack, or try to lose myself in a book or a nap, I will stop myself and touch my face just to make sure that my lips are where they are supposed to be and get back to the business Life. 

 My response is to get down on my knees before the Father,
 this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth.
 I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit - not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength -
that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love,
 you'll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! 
Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. 
God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
 Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!  Ephesians 3:14-21 MSG

1 comment:

  1. "giving myself the space to let the novocaine wear off." Great line and analogy. xo