I don't often get angry. Frustrated, annoyed, maybe even a little agitated but angry, not really. I think part of it is because anger is one of those emotions I'm afraid of. You see for years I've stuffed all of those strong emotions because I was afraid that they would swallow me.
Today I didn't stuff it.
Today I let it well up to the surface.
Today I was angry to to point of white hot rage.
And it didn't consume me nor did it hurt anyone else.
I shared my anger in a safe environment and nobody yelled at me or told me I shouldn't feel that way. They let me get it out.
My anger has cooled now to a simmering frustration. And as I sit here and begin to sort it all out I realize that anger is a valid emotion. Jesus dealt with it too. It's not something I like or something that I will seek out but it is a part of our emotional make up.
As much as I don't enjoy the feeling of anger, I know that just dealing with it is far better than stuffing it and trying to ignore it. Stuffing and ignoring just leads to festering and bitterness. So in my attempt to live honestly it's time to deal with those uncomfortable emotions and move past them.
Not fun but necessary.
I got angry today too -- wish it didn't hurt anyone, but I'm not sure I can say that for sure. Sorry you are frustrated too, but it's a little comforting to hear that I have an "angry buddy" that's just as scared of who she becomes as I am when the hotter emotions take over.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. (I miss the walk-in freezer we had in Lansing -- I used to go in there and scream my anger out...)