I've been thinking about this post for almost a week. God and I have been talking about what He's laid on my heart. I've been trying to wrap my brain and my heart around it.
Once I finally got it, I started having this argument with myself as to whether I should write about it here. You see I didn't want to seem confrontational or offend anyone. I spend a lot of time thinking about what I say and how I say it. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I frankly, take it to far. So far, in fact, that I lose myself so that I can please other people.
Then I discovered this is about what God has laid on MY heart. This is about how I'M feeling. This isn't about anyone else. So in an attempt to live honestly I'm going to just lay it out there.
I know an awful lot of Christians, myself included, who wear a particular sin like a badge of honor. When we look through the Ten Commandments I realized that there are some that we look at as the big "SINS" and others that we look at as merely suggestions.
Here are the big "SINS": lying, murder, adultery, stealing, coveting. Those are the big ones that we know are absolutely wrong and we become convicted of quickly. But what about the first 5. Are they just suggestions?
The one that I've become particularly convicted of is #4: "Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath day to the LORD your God; you shall not do any work..." Exodus 20:8-10a
I am a Salvation Army officer and there is ALWAYS a lot to do. There are always people who need prayers or a listing ear, programs to be done, sermons to be written, meetings to go to, etc, etc. It is possible that you can work 24/7 and there will still be more work to do. And to top off this massive problem we Salvationists are doers. I think that it's somewhere in our DNA that we like to do stuff.
In conversation with our peers there's usually a lot of talk about what we have going in our individual appointments and usually there's a lot of talk about how busy we are. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard, or said myself, "We haven't taken a day of or vacation in (insert a large amount of time here)..." I think in some cases that has become a badge of honor. "Look at how hard I'm working for God, I don't even have time to take a day off!" When really what we're saying is:
"I'm working so hard for God, I don't have time for Him...I don't have time to follow His command, because I''m just too busy...I love Him so much and want to serve Him so much that I will sacrifice MY sabbath."
When I began to see it in context I realized the lie that I, and many others, have been feeding ourselves. The sabbath rest is a COMMAND not a suggestion. It is not our sabbath. It is His sabbath, it is a day for us to rest and honor him.
Suddenly my pride that I used to wear my busyness badge of honor has turned to shame and repentance. Thank you Lord, for convicting me and bringing me back to where I need to be, at your feet.
I loved your blog today---
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your heart with us.
I think women in general have a problem with
"trying" to be all things for alot of people.
Made me stop and think about something that came up on Thursday that sorta ruined my day.